In which I procrastinate

[Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pride to present to you the product of an uninspired evening: a 2 149-word series of digressions. You have been warned.]

Given my looming exams, I've spent a foolish amount of time tonight reading Websnark. That and the fact that I'm blogging probably indicate how procrastinationy (that's a word now) I'm feeling tonight. (Incidentally, CURSE THIS HEAT.) Note that these facts do not accurately reflect how nervous I am about the exams I have next week, for nearly three weeks.

Incidentally, if Jordan and/or Louise are reading this, I do hope that the fact that I'm having unhealthy amounts of leisure time isn't rubbing the difference in our exam timetables into your faces. Think about the fact that I'll be sitting through exams while you're relaxing! And/or that your summer break is (at least) two weeks longer!

This isn't really going to be a coherent blog post — in fact, it was going to be a tweet, right up until about three seconds into a swig of water shortly after my shower. (I was going to joke that that number wasn't pulled out of thin air, but one of the English texts I was revising today features a character possibly rendered obsessive-compulsive by the fact that his divorce essentially took him out of his daughter's life, so on second thought that falls into Dude Not Funny territory at the moment. Yes, this parenthetical comprises most of the paragraph — what of it?) Anyway, this is really more a quick succession of various digressions.



So, Websnark. Awesomely well-written, talks a lot about webcomics (do note that that reflects the authors' interests more than the conceit of the blog), what's not to like? I was going to place a link to a particular Crowning Post of Awesome (in terms of quality of writing) here, but given that that'll likely render the rest of this blog post unread, so it gets to go at the bottom instead. Bleheheheheheh. (As I think I've successfully trained Pris to complete this quote, she can do it for me. Bleck! Oh, wait. Dammit.)

I think I'm going to need to find a way to curtail my infovorous tendencies, though. (In-FOV-or-ous? In-FOE-vore-ous? There's a theory which suggests that when information is set in front of us, we're practically programmed to devour it all. Hence "infovore". This poses a problem with the advent of the interblag, which renders more information than we'll be able to process in our entire lives several keystrokes and/or clicks away.) What was I saying..? Oh yeah. My tendency to archive binge (that is, the ENTIRE thing, as happened with Questionable Content, Sam and Fuzzy and Scary Go Round, to name particularly long-running comics which I have read in their entirety) will prove downright dangerous when mixed with a blog mainly written by a dude who (a.) writes really well, and (b.) tends to write a lot. As in a lot. Case in point: he needed to submit a statement of intent to marry because his now-wife was from another country. A single statement would have sufficed; instead he submitted this. Oh, and (c.) said writer has been doing this since January of 2004. Anyway, it seems to be a good thing (for my free time this summer, that is) that I don't read the majority of webcomics about which he posts. Although the fact that he finds them good enough to write about may mean that I will spend most of this summer archive binging them instead.

Several short digressions that have sprung from that paragraph:
 I realise posting this is, in a way, surrendering my Grammar Natzee licence, but what is the difference between "that" and "which"?
 In spite of the fact that my favourite corruption of the word "internet" is "interblag", I find myself using "interwubs" instead most of the time. And, when the alternatives are taken out of a vacuum, "interwubs" comes out on top in funniness. Must resolve this issue. (Digression of a digression: curious that "interwubs" is absent from that xkcd. Was the term not around back in 2006? [Digression of a digression of a di—OK, I'm just messing with you. Did your face contort in horror?])
 My inner Comma Party member of the Grammar Nazi parliament (yes that is a horrible extended metaphor and yes I am dropping grammar here deliberately for effect) twitches at "Oh yeah". 'Course, "Oh, yeah" just looks pretentious. Wait, that's half the reason why I am a Grammar Natzee. Hmm.



OK. Topic two. A bit of wangst ahead, apologies in advance.

You might have noticed that the register of this post is (as far as I can tell, anyway) significantly higher than my norm. (Although I hope that the tone isn't too far removed from said norm; a blog that isn't fun to read is a blog that isn't read, y'know?) Something that I've noticed about me — and something that I dislike intensely about me — is that in a good deal of my conversations in meatspace, I end up emulating the verbal mannerisms, so to speak — nonstandard tones, bits of vocabulary, et cetera — of one or more people I'm talking to. As in, beyond just being more snarky with people I know better and the like. Gratuitous examples of each follow.

There's a person I know who has a habit of ending regular sentences with a rise in pitch, instead of a drop, something most people reserve for questions. (This person shall remain nameless as no-one who reads this blog, as far as I know, knows them, and I don't want anyone to define them solely by this paragraph.) Unsurprisingly, this often makes the person seem very unconfident in what they say, and perhaps, with a little extrapolation, spineless. Not that they are either of these things. I caught myself emulating this in a conversation with them.

Second example won't be as awkwardly anonymous , as (woo alliteration) in this case I'm the only one that can come out looking bad. Term 4, 2004; first term of year nine. Extension plus two people were at Bigga for the infamous Pine Bluff camp. (Good times, good times. Who came up with Cardamon, again? Memory's saying Nish or Tam. Hmm.) I had been on good terms with Jordan for about a month (a by-product of actually talking to him. No, "GIVE ME BACK MY EFFING PENCILCASE/BOW/CELLO/CELLO CASE" doesn't count). Basically, my point is that I had known him (properly) for a short enough time that his nonstandard vocabulary stood out. And yeah, a lot of it worked its way into my own vocab. Which is fine, except I (according to the memory) began sounding a bit too much like him. This culminated when, at the top of an abseil in the Genolan Caves, something triggered the phrase "not cool, not cool". As in, I said it in unison with him. UNISON. Cue me feeling creepy, and, if my memory serves me correctly, cue him dropping said phrase from his own vocab. Ironically, the phrase sums up that moment perfectly. So yeah, not cool.

Interestingly, this isn't always the case. I've noticed that I don't do this with verbal mannerisms I actively dislike (hence the constant surliness I display around my brother which I am attempting, and failing, to remedy), nor does this happen (as far as I can tell) on IM. Which might make this Websnark-influenced elevation of register an anomaly.

In any case, this is one thing which I hope will diminish and die as I'm forced out of my comfortable bubble next year.



Topic three is thankfully pretty much wangst-free.

In an IM conversation (because "convo" just feels wrong in a written context outside of IM) with Jordan last week, I mentioned that the purpose of this blog has shifted somewhat. In my first post, I stated that I was recording events because I was sick of forgetting almost everything that happened in a given year.

Although the act of recounting does presumably reinforce an event in one's memory, my intent was to have a set of dated journals which I could reread to better recall a year. That probably won't be happening. I ended up on my second blog post ever a few weeks ago, and frankly, it was downright painful to read. It's like finding an old floppy with your homework from year two on it. (Yes, I have done just that. I have, amongst other things, a report on the digestive system of cows sitting on my hard drive. No, you can't have it.) Everything about it — phrasing, tone, heck, even content at times — makes you want to bang your head on the nearest wall.

The fact I feel this way about my posts of about eight months ago suggests that in eight months' time, I will have a similar response to this post. (I shudder to think of my future reaction to the first posts.)

Anyway, I think this is one of several factors which have led to a rather severe drop in enthusiasm towards this blog. My erratic update schedule notwithstanding, I did have constant "I need to set aside time to blog about this" moments for the first part of this year. Several things happened. The subject of this section, of course. Year twelve. And perhaps most importantly of all, Twitter.

Ah, Twitter. I joined out of interest shortly after taking note of the badge that Jeph Jacques has over at Questionable Content, and have since become all but addicted to the thing. (And dragged a friend into it along with me, who then proceeded to drag several of her own.) It's basically a microblogging service: whenever you have something you want to share, you can submit a 140-character "tweet" via computer or mobile phone, which then shows up on your profile, and the Twitter homepages of people who are watching you (ie. friends). Said people can then reply if they want, although it's considered bad form by some to carry out what are essentially IM conversations via Twitter. As an added bonus, if a person you're watching replies to a person you're not watching, that update doesn't show up on your homepage.

What Twitter presented to me was an opportunity to share any events of my day which I deemed notable, without devoting the hours I need for a blog post. (No exaggeration.) Net result is that I now tend to consider events tweetworthy rather than blogworthy, and when I do remember I have this blog, half the time everything I would have said has already been put on Twitter. Although Jordan has (correctly) pointed out that the archiving of tweets is pretty lackluster, the fact that I'm no longer intending to reread blog posts makes that a moot point.

Which brings me (in a hugely longwinded and distracted way) to the main point of this topic. In my first post, I said that wanted to post some musings about life, religion, ethics and similar topics here, something which, eight months later, I have yet to do. I don't think I ever grasped just how much time would be needed for such posts when I raised the idea: they'd essentially be a whole bunch in-depth Theory of Knowledge essays.

(Digression: this coming from the dude who loved ToK from the very beginning, and ended up essentially choosing it for his extended essay as well. Seriously, Theory of Knowledge has been one of my favourite subjects over the past two years, coming out just under German because it's hard to top a subject where the best thing you can do is chat. Albeit in a foreign language, but chat nonetheless.)

I presently have two potential topics sitting at the back of my mind: (1) profanity, and (2) judging people by their spelling and/or grammar. In order to save content for these future posts, I won't elaborate on the topics, although Jordan can rest assured that I should be settling on his side for the latter topic. Just.

In case you're convinced I'm just suffering from late night incoherence and can't possibly mean what those paragraphs seem to say: yes, I am intending to write essays during my post-high school break. On a subject which I never need to study again. I deny all charges of masochism.



It would seem that I have successfully procrastinated away the rest of the night, so I'd better get some sleep so I can get to the library early tomorrow and begin my penance. Here's the promised link to that awesome Websnark post. Fair warning: it's almost three times as long as this post has been (6 201 vs. 2 149 words). While totally worth it, yes, it's going to eat even more of your time; depending on your reading speed and available free time, you may want to schedule time for it or pretend I never linked to it in the first place.

Final digression: is it just me, or did the register of this post drop as I wrote it?

11 comments:

Barnabas said...

Tasty, tasty cookie will be awarded to people who actually read the whole post*.

Just one thing which is enough of a non sequitur that I have booted it off the main post: new avatar! If you don't read Gunnerkrigg Court (from which it has been modified), have a look when you have time. Amazing art, great story.

B

* The cookie may or may not be a lie. Barnabas reserves the right to laugh at you for masochism prior to handing you the cookie. The cookie may actually happen if Jordan and Pris persist in trying to teach me to cook. The cookie may or may not be poisonous, as it may be part of my first batch ever.

PS. The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake. Or cookies.

PPS. Thank you for helping us help you help us all.

PPPS. One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix. One can prepared coconut pecan frosting. Three slash four cup vegetable oil. Four large eggs. One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips. Three slash four cups butter or margarine. One and two third cups granulated sugar. Two cups all purpose flour. Don’t forget garnishes such as: Fish shaped crackers. Fish shaped candies. Fish shaped solid waste. Fish shaped dirt. Fish shaped ethyl benzene. Pull and peel licorice. Fish shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment. Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish. One cup lemon juice. Alpha resins. Unsaturated polyester resins. Fiberglass surface resins. And volatile malted milk impoundments. Nine large egg yolks. Twelve medium geosynthetic membranes. One cup granulated sugar. An entry called ‘how to kill someone with your bare hands.’ Two cups rhubarb, sliced. Two slash three cups granulated rhubarb. One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb. One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb. Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire. One large rhubarb. One cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb. Two tablespoons rhubarb juice. Adjustable aluminum head positioner. Slaughter electric needle injector. Cordless electric needle injector. Injector needle driver. Injector needle gun. Cranial caps. And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals. That will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.

Priscilla Lau said...

I was going to read that again, because i read it in four seperate bits coz it was jsut way too long to eat in one sitting.

In this case, my normal doctrine "Long blog post = long blog comment" really doesn't apply, otherwise I'll have to vomit a pris-blag-sized-comment, and no one wants that >_>.

don't fret!

-Pris

PS: might comment again if i remember stuff

PPS: COOKIE MEEE!

Barnabas said...

THE COOKIE IS A LIE

Barnabas said...

…Well, I only have cookies of the tracking (ie. spyware) variety at the moment.

B

JoRdAn said...

man so much to coment on
to start with
BARNY HAS JOINED THE DARK SIDE
thus why he is handing out cookies
to convert more people
muhahahaha
as i can coment on lots of this
*obscure referance to sam and fuzz*
i am now comendeering this post...it shall be known as the patriotic blog of jordanness
*end obscure referances*
since we are on a cookie handing out spree take another one if u understood anything so far
=D
and its ok barny u have inspired me to play lots during my HSC =P
probobly its steming from the fact my cosin gave me her psp mid last week with a few rpg's (CRISIS CORE FF7 =DDDDD)thus have diverted some time into...not so productive stuff (tho time spend ff7ing is time well spent) but yea
=D
played some dota in breaks as well
but yea
=D
dont worry u are not alone in ur procrastination barny (and crap spelling and grammer too now =D)
and
THE CAKE IS A LIE
then comes the mind bender
the below line is a lie
the lines above and below are a truth and a lie
the line above is a truth
dunno if thats gona come out cos of spacing
but u never know
anyway
the cookie may not be a lie
cookies are good for ur health
=D
and adopting manerisms of jordneness is good =D helps u develope a healthy understanding of ... nothing in particular
but im sure its good for something
...

did u know that you can donate a brain to the barny's one has melted foundation for girl scouts
(more obscure referances if no one is following at this point)
on an actual note about the whole blog...
u must b smoking some very strong life herb barny like...dr Dutton strong...mabe even stronger...
ok
i think this blog is sufficiently comendeered
muhahahaha
to recap
...
BARNY HAS JOINED THE DARK SIDE

*restrains himself from analysing circular imagry...too...much...english* hehehehehehehe

JoRdAn said...

on reflection im not done comendeering this blog yet
for those who have blanked on most of his blog may i draw atention to some highlights
1)barny is thinking of profanity
i will restrain from comenting further
*hehehehehe*
ok rest of the highlights are more me rambelling
but anyway
to answer ur rhetorical question *biting ur stoopid head* ok stop referancing s&f
ummm where was i
rite
yes ur voice did drop barny its called puberty, congradulations its finally hit... now pris is gona kill me too... hehehehehehehehe
anyway
also
... i dunno wats wrong with u but twiter will never b able to replace long rambeling awsomethings like this
=D
mabe its cos i like to do long rambeling things like this too...
so maybe i shouldnt get a blog
-.-
anyway
im off...
for the second time...

Barnabas said...

Your failure to use the verb "speechify" dissapoints me, youngling.

Also, for the record, I stopped smoking life herb about two years ago. Silicon dioxide is much more satisfying. (Dr D. smoking life herb sure would explain a lot, though. Feel like knocking over a pillar of western society? Y'know, because he taught us to, in spite of the dangerous nature of such knowledge?)

B

PS. The reason that you cannot fathom the awesomeness of Twitter lies in the fact that you have not tried it out yourself. Join us, Jordan. Become one with The Communion. Join our Sacred Coalescence.

JoRdAn said...

being on the dark side... means im not twittering...yet or w/e
bloging mabe later for like recording all kinds of things that we get up to in china but otherwise...yea
twitter is noobish, no clue wats so good about it, safe to say it looks worse than facebook...and im not a fan of facebook either (that encompases myspace too)
and barny is now dark yoda
speechify i will young padawan
or something like that
someone more yodarised and starwared up can work that one out
=D
on a completely differant note
3 unit maths sucks
....
hard
like
....
yea
-.-
anyway
sand is for noobs, kul ppl still are on life herb
=D
thus why my life is starting to revive *dramatic pause* as a zombie
-.-
o yea
another random side note of hilarity, found that my sence of humor comes from dad, as seen:
i was reading xkcd, dad walks in and asks wat i was doing, i reply "reading a webcomic" to which he goes, "ah so its comic relief then"
i loled
=D

Barnabas said...

'm sorry to hear about the 3 unit. I heard the 2 unit was unusually good, though..?

Can't believe you found that joke funny, though. Goes to show how different our senses of humour are.

That said, I'm itching to call the humour police now. Bob Yap, punnery. $47 fine and a public shaming. Or something.

(disclaimer yes I am kidding)

One day I will figure out why I laugh at Bales's puns and not yours.

About the blog, the other day when we were (somewhat facetiously) talking about me setting one up for you, I was going to mention China, but … what's your internet access there gonna look like?

And I don't know why you're comparing Twitter with Facebook. The latter's a social networking site (ie. o hai can u b mai frend?? i nearli has 6.02×10²³ nao), whereas Twitter's … well, I keep coming back to "microblogging". Bleh.

B

PS. There's a life herb in all of us.

JoRdAn said...

u laf at bales cos he dosnt find himself funny till 5 seconds after while i find it funny 5 seconds before...or something
or mabe mine are just too funny for mortal comprehension
=D
and internet should b fine cos my cos plays on xbox live alot and is on msn all the time and can skype, and play a multitude of mmos with reletively little lag (for china) thus should b fine to load and update stuff
and easier then emailing ppl wats going on...tho ill do that too pwobobly
and twitter wasnt being classified along side facebook, just comparing my view of its uslessness to facebook and myspace which is to say all very usless (however i have seen 1 sole case of facebook being used constructively the rest are either usless or never used thus making it equally usless) twitter falls into the same category as facebook and co due to facebooks wallpaper thingame where u post crap and others post there too
on facebook u post random crap meant to advertise urself or something along those lines (again there has been an acception to the rule, but its rare) twitter isnt about advertising but it still strays into the usless relm that lies between msn and email, msn has its uses due to it being a live convo, email is good as it can b used like a formal letter or file sending privately and all that stuff that u can do with it, twitter (and by extention in this point facebook myspace and all) are a cross between the two which fail to improve or even rival either of their usefulness thus basicly being a time sink of nothingness, even if anyone bothered to postulate the argument that the 'bloging' side of twittering was somehow useful for sorting out issues, at the point that someone coments on it, it then goes back to the relm of usless proding that can b done faster and less publicly on msn.
however dont get the impression im against bloging, in general it seems to b a useful process, the idea of microbloging however has yet to convince me of any form of use at-all appart from everyone doing it, thus just means more things to coment on
...
albit the one flaw is that this coment thread has esentialy become that exact crossbreed that im against, but still i see differances and cbb to explain them at this current time
but there u go
to adress one more point
facebook has actually developed a litle (minor fraction) beyond the whole counting friends thing, thats stil more the relm of myspace, thus the age gap as myspace is for high school kids while facebook is for adults (well collage kids and younger tech savy adults) but yea
compared to the trial 2u was good 3u was a nightmare
-.-
anyway 2 2go
=D

Barnabas said...

"Too funny for mortal comprehension" in that you'd need to be immortal in order to come out unscathed.

I'll admit that when pressed for a valid use of Twitter, I draw a complete blank. But it's fun nonetheless. I guess I sort of share Jeph Jacques' view on it.

Thinking about it, one niche for Twitter does stand out: sharing something which is supposed to be public. (You seem to list that fact that tweets are public as a negative - it isn't.)

Sort of like how some people change their personal messages on MSN to say "egads a dude with a huge swastika tattoo just walked past my house" or something. (Except no-one actually looks at PMs.) Basically, for short things that don't really deserve their own blog post, but that you want to share anyway.

I'd just like to point out my opposition to the idea that everything must have some sort of constructive use before I close.

All the best for the exams that're left.

B